Alone Over the Holidays

My life has taken many turns since September when I last wrote. I’ve left a marriage, created a new life in the city, become a yoga teacher, and started the next level of my spiritual journey, digging into the gritty emotional work that comes when you no longer have any distractions, when there’s no one around I can use as an excuse to not do the work. It’s just me and all of my feelings and thoughts day in and day out. This is the work many of us avoid, because it’s difficult. We find it so much easier to populate our lives with others and blame them for the reasons we can’t meet the challenges life places before us.

When my guides told me to go to a local yoga studio and ask for a job last July, I had no idea that it would lead to my becoming a yoga teacher, or that yoga would become such an intrinsic part of my life. I’d always practiced yoga to some extent, but had never found a community of yogis and yoginis who took the practice to its full spirituality. Now, immersed in that world, and in teaching and practicing Yin Yoga, I know what my guides meant when they said that creating a life on my own would accelerate my spiritual evolution. Yoga not only opens the body to new levels of flexibility but it shakes up the emotions, bringing to the surface any issues we think we’ve buried.

As the holidays approach, I’m facing all the emotions that arise with being alone at a time of year that stresses togetherness. It’s a difficult time for many of us that are not surrounded by family. Usually, in this season, I just try to get through. This year, however, I plan to give myself plenty of time to be with my emotions, to discover I can sit with them and allow them to move through me as the temporary energies they are, and thereby uncover the awareness that lies beneath, an awareness connected to everything, to the Love of the Universe. I’ve been there before in Samadhi, but it’s a good challenge to go there when emotions are raw to begin with, not just when I’m already in a contented state of mind.

So, while others gather around the table for holiday cheer, we who are alone can recognize that these are Holy Days indeed, and use them to meditate and discover the Divine within – a loving awareness available to us now and throughout the year.

Creating Connection During the Holidays

Hello Everyone,

I’ve switched my blog at blogspot to WordPress, because it’s so much prettier! You’ll see below all my posts for December. Enjoy!

It’s early morning. The dogs are curled around my legs as I lie in bed, and James, our manx cat, has not yet woken from his favourite perch on my office chair to tell me that it’s his breakfast time. I want to savour the quietude, but my brain is already abuzz with its list of tasks for the day. There always seems to be something to accomplish – and the holidays create a blender effect of escalating duties that fill the imagination, crowding out the tranquility of the present moment.

It’s so easy at this time of year to get caught up in holiday preparation and lose our connection, not only with others, but with ourselves. It’s often difficult to shut down that anxious voice in our heads with its list that seems to be longer than the one Santa reserves for good children. Rather than try to shut it down, I suggest you take that extra few minutes in the morning to feel that tension to which the mind gives voice. Experience the fire in the body that stress creates. It’s interesting to see how that anxiety shifts and slows when we give it attention rather than fight it off.

Take time, this season, to stop a moment in your bustling about and acknowledge your feelings. Don’t worry about labeling them or figuring out where they came from. Just stop to feel – the same way we’re often told to give pause for breath in yoga class. Just feel for a moment and allow your body and its emotions to come to rest. You’ll continue into your day with a different perspective by being patient with yourself and your feelings each morning and whenever you can during the day.

Do you uplift or destroy with your logic? The Ace of Swords

The Aquatic Tarot. Author/Artist: ©Andreas Schröter 1995-2002

Today’s card is all about the kind of clarity we derive from rational and linear thinking and the danger of being too rational in ways that disrupt relationships and cause alienation.

Sometimes, holistic thinkers are all over the place, and it can show itself in their environment and in the way they conduct ourselves. The office worker whose desk is always a disaster can actually manage quite well for a time, knowing what is where on his desk almost by intuition. An employee who thinks holistically might make a proposal to her boss in a roundabout manner, because she sees the big picture and has trouble communicating in a linear fashion. This can drive a linear thinker crazy and make them impatient.

The office worker needs to take time occasionally to tidy his desk. Both parties in a discussion need to understand how the other communicates. Rational thinkers need to give holistic thinkers time to get to the point, and holistic thinkers need to structure their communication better so as to be heard by rational thinkers and not try their patience.

When our homes, offices or lives are in disarray, applying a linear strategy is often the most expeditious way to get the problem solved. Make a list of things to tackle. Start at one end of a room and clean to the other end. You’ll feel better and more organized afterward. The new year is a great time to start off with a clean slate, so use the holidays to tidy up and get organized for January.

On the flip side, we need to be careful not to be overly rational when facing an emotional situation. Sometimes, we can escape into our heads when our hearts feel overwhelmed. It takes courage to be truly present when a loved one is hurting or when we ourselves are upset. When we get together with friends and family over the holidays, we can avoid conflict by trying to understand our different communication styles and being patient with someone who may say their piece with more emotion or in indirect ways. We can keep our heart open as well as our ears.

Rational thinking has its place in terms of organization and helping complete tasks efficiently, but it must be married to the softer, intuitive side of our nature so that we maintain our compassion and humanity in all situations. When that balance is struck, we move forward in our lives in harmony.