Are you settling for small change?

 

 

When we welcome a change, we call it variety and enjoy it.

When we resist a change, we call it tragedy and suffer pain.

 

Peter Comrie

 

Something just out of reach of your conscious mind is scratching at the surface of your life. It’s time for change. You know that some part of your life no longer fits – and you need to do something about that.

 

When it’s a small change, it’s not a big deal – and that’s often where we settle. We get a haircut or go shopping. We let off steam by talking to a friend. We alter our routine at work. Little changes make a small difference – and we’re happier for a while.

 

So what do you do when the voice inside of you loudly demands a big change? Do you listen? Often, we’re too afraid of the unknown to make the change or we don’t know what our next step should be.

 

Here are some unorthodox ideas for welcoming big change in your life:

 

1. Where will you be 10 years from now? If you are in a dead-end job, an unhappy relationship, or the wrong location for you, but you can’t muscle up the gumption to do anything about it, picture yourself there 10 years from now. Close your eyes and run the entire scenario through your mind until you feel you are really there. Is that the life you want? No? Then, start living.

 

2. Figure out your first step. Would you rather have a nicer location, more abundance, a happier relationship, a better career? It takes some big, powerful steps to get there, but you can only make the change one step at a time.

 

We tend to overwhelm ourselves by pondering the end goal rather than just taking the first step to get there. So break it down. What can you do today to get you one step closer to your happy life? As Gandhi said, “Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.” That first step toward your new life may not shake your world, but just as Gandhi through simple, small steps changed the world, so can you change yours. Just take that first step and watch the next step reveal itself. 

 

3. Expect what you need to show up. Once we’ve made a commitment to a goal by taking action, our intent works like a magnet to attract the people, resources, and events we need to reach that goal. The next step will reveal itself, so expect to hear great ideas from people around you, watch for opportunities to arise, and be open to making changes greater than you anticipated – and in ways you never expected.

 

4. Accept the pace of change. When we set an intention, we don’t know exactly where the ripples will go. Opportunities can present themselves sooner than we thought they would, and they may challenge us to go somewhere we have never been. When the brass ring is presented, trust that it is coming your way for good reason – and grab it. 

 

5. Be willing to learn by doing. When a new opportunity presents itself, even if you aren’t confident that you can meet it, do so anyway. Too often, we play it safe, only walking into what we already know. Adopt the attitude that the opportunity has arisen to call out the potential that already resides within you.

 

6. Are you scared? Rejoice. If you’re scared to take the next step, you may be looking at significant change in your world. Way to go! Acknowledge your fear, but change anyway. When you get on the other side of that doorway, you’ll wonder why you didn’t act sooner. If you’re life is very safe, and you’re not enjoying it, then it’s time to take some risks. You are not here simply to take your preciously preserved body gently to its grave. You are in life to enjoy this rollercoaster ride, so let it shake you up a bit – or a lot! It’s so much more fun that way.

 

7. Learn to love the unknown. In the information age, we’ve come to expect that answers we need will be just a keystroke away, but making big changes usually means walking into the irrational unknown. We can educate ourselves only so far into our process, and then the rest is up to wherever our path leads us.

 

For example, I became a yoga teacher without any conscious intent. Walking by a yoga studio one day, I clearly got a message from my inner guidance that I was to go in and say that I wanted to work there. My conscious mind thought, “Okay, I could work at the front desk, supplementing my income and getting free yoga classes.”

 

However, my inner guidance had other ideas. The owner of the studio hired me to work at the front desk on the spot, but with the proviso that I was to train immediately to become a yoga teacher. It turned out to be a natural fit for me, but not one that I had consciously considered.

 

Had I known that I would be asked to teach yoga, I probably would have been too overwhelmed to walk into that studio. I would have missed out on a very beautiful component of my life, simply because of my own resistance to stepping into something entirely new.

 

Since we do meet new challenges with resistance, our inner guidance will only give us information on a need-to-know basis, not revealing the end result, but just nudging us step by step in the right direction. Be willing to act on the inner nudgings you receive, even if they don’t make logical sense to you at the moment.

 

8. Trust your intuition. Often, people know instinctively what they need to do, but they balk at heeding the messages from within, because they would have to let go of security and step out of their norm. Accept responsibility for your inner knowing and take the action you know you need to take, accepting that you may encounter major challenges on the way. If you need to leave a relationship or a career that despite your efforts isn’t working, delaying your departure won’t make things any easier. 

 

9. Accept fallout. With positive change often comes a period of loss and disorientation while the ego mind finds a new footing. Be gentle with yourself during this time. Surround yourself with supportive people. Take time to be alone when necessary to feel your way through the changes. Accept that fear about the outcome of your choices is not uncommon when you’ve taken a step outside of your usual paradigm.

 

10. Look around. Making a big change in your life alters your vibration. Expect to interact with people you’ve never met before. Recognize that opportunities will arise, and that you could be drawn even further into the mystery that is this new paradigm. See each interaction as an invitation into a new and exciting life.

11. Address resistance. It may take time to adjust to big change. Old patterns can emerge that don’t fit your new circumstances. Their modus operandi is to pull you back to your previous life. When you find yourself wanting to slip into that comfort zone, sit with the resistance instead of acting on it. It may burn through you like fire, but eventually, the pull backward will weaken, and you’ll have more energy to embrace your new situation.

12. Feel the emotions of change.

Whenever we are called upon to make a major change, we start to experience strong emotions. This is a sign that an internal shift is taking place. Change must come from within before we can generate a better world outside of ourselves. If you make a leap forward without allowing yourself to feel how this is affecting you, then you are likely to recreate the same problems you thought you left behind.

 

From the time that you contemplate making a major shift in your life, throughout the process itself, and as you adjust to your new situation, there will be emotion. Think of these feelings as energy in motion. Everything within is being rearranged to suit your new paradigm.

 

You will be tempted to withdraw into old comfortable patterns, and to shut down these powerful feelings. Instead, welcome them. They are entirely necessary to the process of change. The longer you can sit with the sensations instead of acting outwardly to relieve them, the deeper the shift into your new paradigm.

 

Not sure how to do this? Join me for an intuitive counselling or PSYCH-K session so you can transform thought patterns that resist change, and directly experience the guidance within, which has been working to steer you toward positive change your entire life.

 

 

Your Valentine’s Day Gift: Self Acceptance

On Uprooting Oneself…

Most people have excellent intuition. The challenge arises when they are called upon to trust it and heed its guidance – even when it means moving to the other side of the country.

Here I was, living in Ontario, with a thriving practice as an intuitive and as a yoga instructor, when I began at the start of the year to sense that I was no longer where I belonged. It started with feeling displaced, as though the town I had been calling home since the mid-90′s no longer felt that way. People continued to be friendly and welcoming, and indeed, there was no end of work for me. I could have tried to stay in Kingston and continued doing what I was doing, but the call to move was too strong. I had no choice but to listen. I kept hearing the word “Kelowna” in my mind.

Now, this is where an intuitive has no choice but to put her money where her mouth is. I had to listen to my intuition and make the move and accept whatever changes that brought forth in me, or I would become a disingenuous person, giving advice to my clients that I was not myself willing to heed. I committed to making the move, but my ego wanted a safe, cushy period of time to prepare for the shift. However, once I had stopped deliberating and the decision was made, circumstances made it so that I had less than 30 days to do the deed.

This is not uncommon when we make a decision based on intuition. The universe gives us a test. Often, the time period to accomplish the task is sped up. It’s as though God is asking how serious we are about our decision. Will we act even though things are occurring outside of our conscious control? Will we go anyway or will we cling to the familiar and miss our opportunity? I knew I had to go, even though it meant leaving friends and family behind, and embarking on a journey to a place where I knew no one and knew nothing about where I was headed.

Packing to leave Kingston

There was no time to spare. Within 24 hours of getting clear on my decision, on August 2nd, I had arranged to stay at a condo at Big White Ski Resort and had purchased a plane ticket to fly out on September 3rd. Next came organizing movers, finding work in BC, and packing my stuff. I won’t say that the move was easy. Plenty of tears were shed for the folks I was leaving behind, and it was a scary proposition to uproot myself and go to parts unknown. But, what an adventure!

The Rockies from the plane

Kelowna from the air

I had never been further west than Manitoba, and here I was, flying over the Rockies, in awe of the magnificence of this mountain range that just seemed to go on and on…  The hours spent on the plane, watching the landscape pass by below, gave me time to wonder at the monumental decision I had made. Here I was, moving on my own away from the province where I had spent most of my life, having moved to Ontario from Quebec when I was five years old. What was I doing, moving to BC? All I knew was that I was moving where I was being called to go, and I would have to trust that, even though I knew next to nothing about Kelowna.

Touching down in my new hometown, I realized that I had been given a tremendous gift – the opportunity to live in a place of such beauty in all directions, with people who welcomed me before I even arrived.

Near the top of Big White, looking at the chalets below

During my last month in Ontario, I had sent out emails to yoga studios and other contacts provided me by friends in the know, and I felt encouraged by the responses I received. Brenda Wowk of Kelowna Hot Yoga Studio was the first to connect with me. Her warm welcome made me feel right at home, and I began teaching Yin yoga at her studio the week I arrived.

My first night in Kelowna, I drove for an hour up the dark mountainside to Big White, making hairpin turns, passing steep dropoffs, and dodging deer. In the morning, I walked to the top of the mountain and surveyed the range, marvelling at the green expanse before me. For several days, I drove up and down the mountain, exploring Kelowna and looking for a place to live, since the condo was a temporary rental before the start of ski season. My ears popped each day, during the sharp descent into the Okanagan Valley. I came to realize that the wildlife own the roads in these parts. One night on my way back up the mountain, I had to stop half a dozen time for deer crossing the road. During my forays into the city, I would drive around the ducks near city park. They are quite clear on their ownership of the road and are not the least bit fussed about traffic.

The ducks own the road.

In that same first week, I found a carriage house to rent in West Kelowna surrounded by vineyards, fields and mountains, bought a car, and began to make friends in my new community. I hiked in the mountains with Brenda, and with my yogi friend, Dawn and her three rescued dogs. I attended the Wise Women Festival in Penticton, where I became gloriously lost in the dark on the way home, finding myself at Okanagan Lake at midnight. I found a park near my home where I could sit on a bench and look across the water at Kelowna and take in the beauty of the lake and the mountains. I found myself laughing at the flocks of quail that would run along in front of me and hide in the bushes where I passed, looking much like old ladies in cocktail hats toddling off for their afternoon tea.

So, I take this adventure a day at a time, humbled and grateful to have been led here, looking to continue learning what my higher wisdom wants me to know, and recognizing that I am indeed taken care of, and that God/the Universe/All That Is reaches out to me through my mind, my heart, the mountains and the wind, and every smiling face that welcomes me, and all those in kindness who wish me well wherever I walk the earth. Namaste and blessings to you all.

Is PSYCH-K part of the human evolutionary process?

Recently, I had the pleasure of taking my PSYCH-K training in Ottawa with Maureen Koropeski. I was drawn to the practice after reading Dr. Bruce Lipton’s book, The Biology of Belief. Lipton writes about epigenetics, the science that illustrates how our very DNA is affected by the power of human thought. He concludes his book with a chapter on PSYCH-K, touting it as the process by which the body, mind and life of a human can be transformed. I was intrigued.

We all want to grow, move forward in our lives, and overcome our limitations.We want to evolve. There’s a great deal of discussion about the new age we’re moving into – one of love and awakening. Yet, many of us find ourselves besieged with doubts and fears, manifesting emotionally, physically and in our behaviours and habits. How can we get on top of them? How can we move forward with these blocks in our way?

PSYCH-K offers a unique opportunity to experience a cooperative process between the superconscious, subconscious and conscious minds whereby new and more productive beliefs replace limiting beliefs in the subconscious mind.The process is conducted using a specific series of muscle tests to establish communication with the subconscious and superconscious to ensure that the new belief is one that you are ready and able on all levels to incorporate into your being. The lead-up to the actual process is important, as the consultation helps you to get clear on what it is you want to change about your life. Often, we are focused on what we don’t want, and the PSYCH-K process directs our minds in a positive way toward the changes we want to see in our lives.

Many of us have tried to do this, using affirmations, but because they occur only at the conscious level, they often don’t stick or require a great deal of time and effort to entrain the mind into the desired belief pattern. With PSYCH-K, the process is effective and immediate – within one session, new beliefs are instilled in the subconscious with confirmation through muscle testing.

The effects, however, may take time and initiative on your part. For example, if you want to lose weight, PSYCH-K can be used to shift your belief so that you find yourself motivated to eat better and to exercise. It will also address any underlying emotional issues around body image in order to facilitate a positive physical change. PSYCH-K will get the boulder out of your way and help you move forward toward your desired goal with greater ease and with joy.

It can also be employed in a similar way to EFT to lessen the emotional impact of an event, whether it is in the past, present or future. This is an invaluable tool to use just before an important job interview or to ease the recovery from the loss of a loved one.

A lot of discussion around the human evolutionary process suggests a shift in our very DNA. PSYCH-K does just that, affecting us on an energetic level and thus helping our healing processes in body and mind. This is what Dr Lipton was writing about. This is what is possible for all of us. I’m thrilled to be able to offer this tool to you to help you find joy and wellbeing in your life and to overcome fears and limitations that hinder your progress. You, too, can take part in the human evolutionary process with PSYCH-K.

The Unseen Influence

When people take my Channeling Healing Energy workshops, it’s always a beautiful thing to see the surprise on their faces when they realize for the first time that they can feel someone walk into their energy field – and that they can feel it happening more than 10 feet away from their body.

With little difficulty, most people can learn to tune into the subtle shifts in their field caused by the influence of others. The more sensitive in the group even report a feeling of pressure against them and more rapid breathing as they feel the person approach – even though their eyes are closed during the exercise.

We are energy beings living in a sea of energy, and as such, we exert a profound influence upon one another. For example, women who share a home as roommates eventually find that their menses cycles synchronize.

It’s said that over time, life partners start to look like each other. We are energy that is capable of great change, depending on the state of our consciousness. Even our DNA is affected by thought (read Dr. Bruce Lipton’s book, “The Biology of Belief” for more on the subject).

In her book, “Why People Don’t Heal, and How They Can”, Caroline Myss talks about energy leaking from our fields to others when we think about them. She counsels her readers to be careful of spending too much time worrying about other people, because it depletes our energy and provides them with energy they should be finding for themselves. Those readers who have a companion who is a constant complainer, who leaves them feeling worn out after a conversation, know what I mean.

Aware of the influence our field has on others, we can choose consciously what thoughts and actions to take to protect our field from leakage and offer loving energy to others.

Taking the following steps will ensure your vitality and generate a calm environment around you:

1. Whenever you encounter something stressful, let the energy of it drop down your body and out through the energy centers in the soles of your feet. That way, the energy can be recycled by the Earth.

2. Draw universal energy into your body through your feet and the crown of your head, meeting at the heart, to ensure your vitality. Do this whenever you feel anxious, angry or fatigued.

3. If you encounter someone who is in a bad mood, having drawn that universal energy in, send it back out to that individual with love. If they’re having a bad day, they deserve your compassion. This action also protects you from energy loss, since engaging in negative emotion creates fatigue.

4. Be here NOW. When your thoughts wander into the past or become anxious about the future, your energy is not available to you in the present moment. Come back to where you are and just work with what’s in front of you.

5. Quit worrying about your loved ones. You have no control over their karma. Their path is their path. Instead, project a feeling of confidence in their strength, their ability to cope, and if it’s your children, their ability to use the tools you’ve given them to get through life. Even the youngest child does not benefit from worry. Having an anxious parent just makes them worry too, and lose confidence in themselves. Bless them and gradually let them go, with love. Their soul has chosen their path. Trust it.

6. Sometimes, people ask me how to protect themselves against psychic attack. There are really only two emotions operating in the world – love and fear. Someone who attacks you does so because they think you’re a threat. Love truly does conquer all. Bless them, send them love, and free yourself from the trap of giving back as good as you get. It only lowers your vibration to react to attack with fear or anger. Stay in a higher vibration so you can offer a lifeline to those who are in fear but looking for a way out.

We as a species are shifting paradigms, moving out of an age built on fear, needing to believe in the security of material goods. We are evolving into a species vibrating in love, becoming a community built on spirit, sharing, and mutual strength and well-being. How you choose to resonate your energy now will determine how easily you move into the new paradigm. Namaste.

What I’ve learned about love…

Something has shifted on a deep and significant level for me. This may be a result of my Yin yoga practice. It may be the effect of major shifts in my life during the past several months. It certainly is having my soulmate hold a mirror up to me and my patterns around love.

Whatever the contributing factors, I’ve come to the realization that there is only one way to love, and that is unconditionally, without reservation, and without regard to the outcome.

To some, that may sound self-sacrificing; yet it isn’t. I continue to ensure that I meet my needs, including expressing them to others if their involvement or cooperation is required, and I’m happy to move in and out of situations if they don’t feel right for me, whether that has to do with my home, job, or relationship.

However, I’ve discovered that there is incredible freedom and joy in loving someone for the opportunity of expressing that love. It moves me out of “what will you do for or to me?” It stops the question, “Will you love me or hurt me?” It shifts it to, “How can I understand you better? What can I give you?”

This shift moves us from grasping to giving, and it’s only when we have an open hand that we can receive the gifts of the universe. It also sets up a wave effect. As we freely allow Love to flow through and out of us, it rushes right back in through beautiful and unexpected channels.

This offering up of love does not restrict itself to a romantic relationship. Indeed, as conduits of Divine Love on earth, we can freely provide that energy to everyone we meet, whether they are ready to receive it or not. It’s really none of our business what others do with the Love we offer. It’s just our role to let it move through and out of us.

Often, when I’m struggling with a particular stage of my personal growth, the Universe speaks through someone that day, giving me the exact guidance or support I need. Indeed, it wants to communicate through us all, if we just get out of the way and allow it.

What’s tremendous about this realization is that it takes the emphasis off of receiving from someone in particular. How often do we become angry and bitter because we felt that someone should treat us in a particular way? When we surrender to the Universe, and accept that our needs will be met through a greater wisdom than our ego can summon, we move from blame to compassion, realizing that others may be suffering and unable to offer anything that day… but that it will come to us through the appropriate channel at the right time.

Knowing this, we can freely offer up love, opening our hearts to let it back in from wherever it’s destined to come. We can cease grasping and clinging and simply resonate with the compassionate, all-encompassing vibration that is the Universe. All that truly exists is Love. With that vast ocean surrounding and permeating us, why focus on the smallness of the illusion that we are separate and somehow removed from the All?

I prefer to live in Truth, knowing that my sole purpose – indeed everyone’s purpose – is to be Love expressing itself today. However you do it, you are the Love of the Universe… and the Universe/God/All That Is doesn’t play favourites and doesn’t care if anyone loves it back.

Is it allergies, or is it emotion?

Recently, I was at a movie theatre with a friend, where we found ourselves playing musical chairs. As people took their seats, we kept encountering movie-goers wearing scent. Both of us being sensitive to scented products, we moved seats three times until we found a spot far enough away from the perfumes in the room.

In my case, the chemicals in scented products give me headaches and cause my lungs to react. I also notice that I begin to feel angry that my space has been invaded and my health compromised by people who are using perfume or smoking.

It got me thinking about other people I know who have allergies or environmental sensitivity and about the relationship between these conditions and our emotional make-up. Louise Hay, in her book You Can Heal Your Life, relates allergies to feeling unempowered and asthma to feeling smothered. These feelings are often related to unresolved childhood issues. As children, if we weren’t supported in maintaining good boundaries with people, we didn’t feel safe, so we may have manufactured a physical reason why we needed those boundaries.

The same people who ignore the emotional needs of a child may respond to a physical symptom. By having an allergy, children may create the space they need, but it puts them in a permanent position of victimhood. This pattern does not serve them as they get older. In fact, it creates unnecessary limitations on their freedom. To overcome these limitations, it is far better that we learn to speak for ourselves rather than put our body through illness to do it for us.

After all, dis-ease is really just a state of unease. If we can face our fears directly, we maintain our sense of well-being and we become empowered, thus overcoming the fear-based patterns of childhood.

I’ve been in a few situations in the past few months where I was exposed to offending inhalants in the presence of people who hold a strong love vibration or in the midst of doing activities that engender a sense of peace and love. In these cases, my body did not have a negative reaction to its environment.

It made me realize that it is more effective for me to look for ways to change my reaction to my environment, rather than try to control my surroundings. I still feel it’s good for public places to ban scent and smoke, because we have to honour various belief systems around illness, but for my part I choose to examine the underlying emotional sensitivity for which the physical reaction is just a symptom.

Consider that there are documented cases of persons with dissociative disorder who have some personalities with allergies, nearsightedness and other physical conditions that do not exist for some of the other personalities. We have to ask ourselves how much of what we consider a physical problem is really just a manifestation of our present state of consciousness?

I am extremely nearsighted, yet I had the experience once of waking up and looking across the room, and clearly seeing the time on the clock, before my vision once again became blurry. For a second, my consciousness forgot that it couldn’t see through these eyes. It made me realize that each day, I make up what I believe about my world – including the state of my body.

Humanity is undergoing an accelerated evolutionary process to prepare us for the coming age. As part of that process, we are being challenged to recognize that we do indeed create our world – including our bodies – with our thoughts. There is no longer a lag time between thought and manifestation. It’s often instantaneous.

We are also living in a time of great contrast. We can easily oscillate between emotional extremes. The basic premise arising from this is that we are either choosing a path of love or one of fear. When we actively choose to vibrate at a love frequency, we are attuned to Source and connected to each other, and we can attract what we need. Living in fear shuts us out from Source, makes us feel separate from each other and leaves us in a state of constant lack and disruption.

I decided to try an experiment, deliberating choosing to enter a love vibration whenever I encountered one of my allergy triggers. The universe provided four opportunities back to back as I walked to work that day. Over the course of several minutes, I passed four people smoking cigarettes. My normal reaction is to hold my breath until I pass a smoker, forcefully exhale, and then hope that the next breath will be fresh air.

This time, I chose to feel love for each person – seeing the individual and not the cigarette – feeling their story and having respect for them for having chosen to be on the Earth plane at this time. My body had no reaction. Not a cough, a sneeze, or a wheeze. Just love.

As we gather in groups this holiday season, I challenge you to take down any barriers between yourself and the people around you, fill yourself with a love vibration that makes you feel safe and connected to Source, and recognize that connection with everyone around you. In that state, observe how your body responds. Indeed, we are not separate one from another. We are truly One. When we realize there’s nothing to fear, the body too can arrive at a state of Grace and Love. Peace be with you this holiday season. Namaste.

Delving Spread

In this new spread I’ve created, you can delve deeply into an issue and understand what you need to work on in the moment as well as where the situation is taking you down the road.

The top card indicates the issue at hand.

In the second row, from left to right, the cards are for inner resources, external help, and fears to overcome.

In the third row, from left to right, the cards are action to take now and action to take in the future.

The last card is the wisdom to be derived from following this path.

So, in this example, using Cheryl Lee Harnish’s Path of the Soul Destiny Cards, I’ve done a spread about my newest venture, my online television show. The first card brings up the issue about me as a healer questioning my abilities in this arena. For inner resources, I’m told to expect the unexpected (and have already had a website offer to feature my show – more details soon). So when internally, I’m open to whatever the universe wants to bring me, the offers come. For external resources, the card indicates I have a powerful energetic influence on others. So, the message here is to be myself and the external will be realized.

Under fears to overcome, I’m told to basically take action and trust that the rest will follow. This card indicates that I’m on the right path in creating an online television presence. For the immediate action to take, I’m to ask for support. So, please come see me on my shows and share your perspective and let others know about the show if you like what you see.

What’s most interesting about this spread is the fact that it tells you what to watch for further down the road. The future action card indicates that I need to ensure I take care of myself. Sounds like I’ll be busy!

The wisdom card indicates that I need to strike a balance between online time and time spent in nature in order to stay attuned to my inner being. That is where I will find the Truth to bring to my shows.

How’s that for a comprehensive spread? Please do share your thoughts and impressions. Thank you!

Overcoming Fear When You Have to Perform

Image from Stock Xchng

It’s my passion to perform, whether that’s giving an intuitive reading, a talk, a workshop or standing in front of an audience to sing a song or perform one of my written works. I spent this past weekend at the Canadian Model and Talent Convention in Toronto, demonstrating my skills to talent agents from all over the world in order to further my career in the modeling and acting industry. During this event, I participated in several competitions to showcase my ability to do commercials, improv, monologue, runway, and a cold reading.

Waiting my turn to perform meant standing in line-ups for half an hour while the room hummed with the electricity of nerves finally getting the better of some contestants. In such circumstances, it’s easy to forget your lines or stumble over them, even to tremble and shake in the midst of people judging you on your performance, no matter how kind and encouraging they may be.

As an empath, I can stand among my fellow performers and feel the crackle and snap of that nervous energy. I can absorb it and so trigger my own fear. That’s when it’s most helpful to have a calming technique so that I can enter the room composed and ready to give it my all.

Nervousness is fear-based. It arises when we’re concerned about suffering a loss. We worry that the people watching us won’t like what we do – that they will withdraw their acceptance of us. We worry that we won’t get the job for which we are applying; whether that’s in an audition or a conventional job interview, it’s still fear of not getting what we want. At that point, the adrenaline kicks in and we find ourselves quaking. We’re in fight or flight mode, defensive and scared. From that standpoint, we can’t perform well, no matter how we try.

That fear can be transformed. We can shift from a concern about what our audience can do to us by considering instead what we have to offer. We can change the flow of our energy so that instead of withdrawing it in fear, we extend it as a gift to others. While you’re waiting in line, allow all of your fear to drop out of your body as though it is flowing downward and out the soles of your feet into the earth. At the same time, think with confidence about what it is you have to offer (if you’re well-prepared, then you know your offering is good). Get excited about giving this energy to the people you’re about to meet. After all, your desire is to inspire, move or uplift your audience, or you wouldn’t be drawn to performance in the first place.

If you have an understanding of how energy works, you can also learn to detach from the nervousness of those around you. You do not have to absorb their fear and make it your own. It takes courage to stand out from the crowd and awareness to not lapse into group mentality. That’s how leaders are made. Set your own standard for the way you want to feel and how you want to offer your skills. From that calm place, you can perform and do it well.